The best leaders are learners

One year ago, at a youth camp, a student who had been put in charge of his group confided in me that leading his team members wasn’t going as well as he had thought it would. “I’m just not cut out to be a leader,” he said, as he related to me what he thought a leader should have, which he didn’t: humour, confidence, wisdom and courage.

My reply to him, as one still understanding the ropes of what it truly means to lead was, “all these can be learnt, if you put your heart to it”.

It is said that there are approximately 50,000 books on leadership that are published annually – and this number may well be a conservative estimate – but if there is one indication that there is no final “destination” in this journey of becoming a leader, it is the countless number of resources that teach us how to better develop our awareness and management of ourselves and others.

Leadership is a relational endeavour; one cannot claim to be a leader without being able to inspire an action or a reaction in others. And because relationships are complex, one can only lead to the extent that he or she learns.

On the surface, it is painfully obvious that learning is imperative for any human enterprise – but I’d argue that in the long run, learning qualifies you to lead more than anything else (beyond promotions, positions, placement and power).

Here are three reasons why:

1 Learning equalises the years

How often have you heard the Chinese adage (often spoken by the elderly to the young), “I eat more salt than you eat rice”?

What is it about being “older” that makes one a wiser and better decision-maker? I’m convinced that the difference is not a matter of “years”, but a matter of “experience”.

We learn from our experiences, and our past outcomes that resulted in both positive and negative actions inform us as we negotiate between present choices.

But if experiences make us wiser, how do we attain more “experience”? Is “experience” purely a byproduct of the passing years, or can we, in the words of Sir Isaac Newton, see further into the future “by standing on the shoulders of giants”?

When we capitalise on the learnings and lessons of others and apply them in our lives, we are able to short-circuit the common bind of “years equals to experience” and accelerate our growth without wasting the time others have wasted.

Great leaders often ask themselves, “How can I avoid making the same mistakes, or how can I replicate others’ successes and take them further?”

2 Learning keeps you humble

Learning and humility feed off each other. On the other hand, the antithesis of humility, which is pride, has the sinister ability to deceive anyone into believing that he or she has “arrived”, that there is no need to adapt or change further, because he or she is superior and above reproach.

In contrast, great leaders are often the most humble people who are secure in themselves and do not see the need to put others down to elevate themselves.

John F. Kennedy once said “Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other”.

Interestingly, most US Presidents were avid readers who invested much of their time in learning, despite their busy schedules.

It is said that Theodore Roosevelt read two books a day, while Abraham Lincoln, who had only one year of formal education, attributed his successful political career to his habit of reading.

A strong learning posture allows you to see from different perspectives, live in the experiences of others, and most importantly, empathise with other points-of-view.

It is only when a person is an avid learner that he or she is continually challenged in his or her current views, and thus able to grow in convictions. It is only when a cup is empty, that it can be filled.

Maintaining humility allows us to be intellectually curious – and curiosity always precedes discovery and creativity.

3 Learning enables you to give

Somewhere during my college years, an epiphany occurred to me: How much can I learn and grow, if I were to dedicate all my transit and waiting moments to learning something new?

In my frustration of waiting and chasing for buses to get to college, I found a treasure chest.

I had realised that an average Kuala Lumpur/Klang Valley resident would spend approximately 10 to 15 hours per week travelling, either by inching through heavy traffic or waiting at bus stops and light rail transit (LRT) stations, and what a waste of time it would be if all that time was given to staring into space or letting one’s thoughts run idle.

I then made a concrete decision to listen to podcasts, audio books (when I would be driving) or to read (when I was waiting for the bus or LRT), in order to redeem that precious time.

I have since listened to over 700 hours of podcasts on topics related to public speaking, general knowledge, story-telling, leadership, faith and personal development.

My greatest learning moments are no longer in the classroom, but in my car, when I am alone and can learn something new.

During the course of the last two years, as a teacher in a high-needs school and a church leader, these moments of learning and reflection allowed me to pass on what I learnt to my students and congregation.

Those opportunities gave me great pleasure, as I was communicating to others what I had learnt and internalised for myself. I never felt “burnt out” because the stream of learning was always flowing.

Leadership may have many faces, but all leaders have the same outstretched hand of giving. And we can only give from what we have learnt. The good news is that leadership can be learnt – if we put our hearts to it.

Contributed by Abel Cheah

Abel Cheah is associate manager in the Talent Acquisition team at Teach For Malaysia. He believes that leadership is something that is nurtured and cultivated. If you are interested in listening to podcasts, he highly recommends Umano (an app that narrates articles). He believes that the best leaders are great lovers of learning. You can get in touch with him at editor@leaderonomics.com

Son, mum in bloodshed by wife, her daughter-in-law !

Injured: Lim and her son Liew Pang @ Low Pang after they were allegedly assaulted.

KLANG: An old woman and her son ended up with head wounds so bad they needed to be stitched up. Both alleged that they were attacked by the son’s wife with a metal spatula.

And the fight was over joss paper.

It all started when Lim Kae Poy, 67, went to her 31-year-old daughter-in-law’s condominium in Bandar Baru Klang on Saturday, to collect schoolbooks belonging to her grandson.

“As soon as I entered, she accused me of stealing joss paper from the living room and threw a metal can at me but I dodged it,” she told reporters yesterday.

“She then hit me on the head with a metal spatula.”

Lim managed to get away and fled to the Bandar Baru police station to lodge a report, but the policemen took her to the Tengku Ampuan Rahimah Hospital because she was bleeding profusely. She needed five stitches on her head.

Battered duo: Liew and his mother Lim received five stitches each following the attack.

Her son, Liew Pang @ Low Pang, 37, who had earlier tried to break up the fight, was also allegedly whacked on the head by his wife.

He stayed back in the condominium when his mother fled, in order to restrain his wife.

Liew later sought treatment at a clinic. He too needed five stitches to close his head wound.

He told reporters that when he went to lodge a police report the following day at the Sungai Kapar police station, he was instead detained for four days.

The police told him his wife had reported earlier that he had beaten her up.

North Klang OCPD Asst Comm Shukor Sulong confirmed that police reports have been lodged by all three.

By TEH ENG HOCK
newsdesk@thestar.com.my/Asia News Network

What do fathers want?

FATHER’S Day is this Sunday and the “Sweet and chocolaty message for fathers” in The Star the other day has prompted me to put on my thinking cap on what a father wants for his children, the generations to come, and the fathers themselves.

After being a father for close to two decades, it sets me to think for the first time what is treasured most in my life as a father. Children. They are more than apples of my life. They are God’s most precious gifts that have been entrusted to my care.

Every aspect of their development, such as their health, education, emotional and spiritual growth, brings great joy to me. A father’s responsibilities are burdensome but worthwhile and rewarding.

Among them, education tops the priorities and this includes enrolling one in Austin Heights Private and International School and another in Singapore Polytechnic.

The decisions, though incurring a huge financial commitment, become easier after deliberating on their strength and weaknesses in studies.

Discipline comes in whenever necessary for sparing the rod will spoil the brats to achieve academically. The endeavour to nurture them requires, other than discipline, love and care plus lots of patience.

During school breaks, they are pampered with a holiday, either locally or once in a blue moon, an overseas trip, to enrich their lives and at the same time strengthen the family bond.

Most fathers desire a peaceful and politically-stable country for the children to grow up.

Political stability is important to ensure sustained socio-economic growth which promises brighter job prospects for their children.

Some parents, like me, are in our early 50s and very soon, our generation will be over but to our children and the future generations, it is just the beginning.

So, it is all the more crucial for our young people to be brought up in a society that is conducive and harmonious.

The country should also be free from political bickering and in-fighting for these will distract the leaders who are mandated by the rakyat to prioritise the country’s development, which includes seeing through policies like the Economic Transformation Programme and Iskandar Malaysia to fulfil the high-income nation status and Vision 2020.

Many views have also been expressed by various stakeholders, especially the PAGE and lately, Datuk Seri Wong Chun Wai, to emphasise more on the English language, to enable our children to be competitive in this globalised world.

Mutual trust, neighbourhood security, transparency and efficiency in the delivery system and public accountability should prevail in a society that treasures meritocracy much more than ethnicity.

A desirable society values diversity in religion, custom and belief that are part and parcel of a multi-racial community. It is also a nation where the leaders lead by example and walk the talk of the 1Malaysia concept in their daily lives, and not only when the general election is around the corner.

The proverb “behind every successful man there is a woman” depicts the importance of a wife to the father and the children. Her role in a family is further highlighted in “home sweet home”, “home is where the heart is” and “the hands that cradle the cot rock the world”.

The father and children of such a home are the MOST blessed souls in the world when there is a wise and diplomatic wife at the household. Her words are soothing in times of weariness and refreshing when one wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.

They could turn to her for words of advice or for second opinions.

Fathers should be treated as the head of households and be allowed to call the final shot if a compromise is difficult to come by. This will set examples for the children to emulate when they have their own families one day.

As the Chinese proverb says, jia he wan shi xing, which literally means that when there is harmony at home, every aspect of our lives will prosper.

That is something that every father wishes to have for himself and family but has always been elusive.

New models after new models have been launched but are often beyond their reach.

The high taxes have put many fathers in the “day-dreaming” gear and hopefully, the 20%-30% reduction in prices over a period of five years as promised by the Government can be shortened to say, two years so that a teacher like me can start saving from now on and be in time to pursue my dream of owning the Toyota Altis to replace the 13-year-old faithful Toyota Unser before the retirement.

Cheers to all fellow fathers on this coming Father’s Day!

TING LIAN LEE Johor Baru

Mutual love and marry, so what?

Forty-year-old Riduan Masmud who allegedly had sex with a 13-year-old girl,

 KOTA KINABALU: He allegedly had sex with a 13-year-old girl and saw no wrong in it.

Riduan Masmud, the 40-year-old who shocked the nation after being charged with raping the minor and later declared that he had married her in the midst of the case, has opened up for the first time on why he decided to take the girl as his second wife.

The restaurant manager defended his action, saying it was a case of suka sama suka (mutual consent), adding that it was acceptable under Syariah law.

It could not be ascertained whether the girl met Riduan while she was at school or whether she had been working for him. She is from a very poor family.

As his rape case came up for mention at a Sessions Court yesterday, Riduan told reporters that he had known the girl for about six months and felt he had the right (to marry an underage girl).

“There are many cases of men marrying underage girls. I do not see why my case should be any different,“ said the father of four children, aged between two and 17. He declined to say if any of them is a girl.

Riduan was speaking to reporters outside the courtroom after Sessions Court Judge Ummu Khatom Abd Samad set July 1 to 4 to hear the case.

Judge Ummu Khatom gave the Attorney-General's Chambers until June 6 to make a decision on whether to proceed with the case.

Riduan was charged on Feb 28 with raping the girl inside a car parked by the roadside in Inanam near here at 10am on Feb 18.

On May 7, DPP Ahmad Nazmeen Zulkifli told the court he had no objection for the case to be withdrawn after the girl withdrew the rape report against the man April 18.

It is understood that it was the girl's aunt who lodged the police report after she found out about the “affair”.

The courtroom was packed yesterday with concerned groups turning up in full force. Many women interest groups and NGOs turned up for the hearing yesterday, including Befrienders Kota Kinabalu president Datuk Seri Siti Rubiah Abdul Samad, the wife of Foreign Minister Datuk Seri Anifah Aman.

All eyes were on the girl who appeared briefly in court. She has a childlike face, wore some make up, and tied up her long hair in a pony tail. Thin and looking under-developed, she was dressed in a T-shirt and jeans.

Riduan said he would let his child-wife finish her studies first and “maybe later take up a cosmetic course with my first wife”, adding that she was a make-up artist.

His wife also told the press that she had accepted the teenager to be her husband's second wife and promised to guide her through her studies.

However, Riduan stopped talking and moved away from the media when he was signalled by a lawyer not to talk.

The girl's father, who was also at the court, said he accepted his daughter's marriage to Riduan as they liked each other.

“It is best for her that they get married. What else can I do?” he added.

As the case came up for mention yesterday, DPP Chaw Siang Kong told the court that he needed time to review the case as it involved public interest.

Lawyers Datuk Mariati Robert and Mary Lee held watching briefs for Sabah Law Association and the Sabah Women Action Resource Group respectively.

Counsel Loretto J. Padua informed the court that the Syariah marriage certificates had been presented to the investigating officer and confirmed that the two were now married.

The court ordered that the man's RM8,000 bail be extended till June 6.

By STEPHANIE LEE and MUGUNTAN VANAR
newsdesk@thestar.com.my